7 Attitudes That'll Help You Master The Art Of Agreeing To Disagree

How to Master the Art of Agreeing to Disagree

As an Integrative Health Coach who uses a person-centered approach to working with each client, trained to withhold my personal judgments and assumptions at all costs, I've developed a profound appreciation for every person's inherent differences, preferences, circumstances, and values in life. After all, what right do I have to apply what I know based on my personal experiences onto others when I don't (and will likely never) fully understand what they have been through, what they know to be true, what they like or dislike, and what conditions they're currently in?

Consequently, when someone told me recently that my way of being and thinking was outright wrong no matter what, I was first shockedshaken in frustration, then speechless, pondering how I could regain my inner balance when I felt like I was slathered in disrespect.

My body temperature had risen steadily, and my heart was pounding faster and harder with each passing moment, preparing my body for a "fight or flight" response.

Which route was I going to take? Was I going to bare my teeth and fight back, or was I going to simply run away altogether? Or, was there another way for me to go?

After years of studying positive psychology and integrative medicine, I knew immediately that I had a third option: The mindful way.

And with this, rather than adding fuel to the fire, I was able to tame my own flames and close down the unresolvable dispute in a calm demeanor, leaving little to no visible scars on my transgressor or myself. Of course, I walked away from the incident with new insights about myself and what I could further work on in the future, but for the most part, I felt like I was able to restore my inner balance much more quickly than I used to be able to.

Have you ever gotten into conflicts with others, in which the resolution to "agree to disagree" seemed impossible? Or have you ever faced arguments that have caused your mind and body to boil up, rendering you incapable of keeping your cool?

As purpose-driven individuals deeply passionate about the messages we each want to share, it's just the reality that we will, at one point or another, come across people with incompatible viewpoints to ours. I mean, I've had more than a few such encounters myself just in the past year.

But if our overarching goal is to positively impact our world, is it worth it to make enemies out of others also just trying to do good in their own unique ways? We certainly can't please everyone, but I'm not so sure upsetting our health and the wellbeing other people, if we can help it, will be productive for our grander cause.

So how can we stay at peace and even earn the respect of people who see the world differently during heated, gridlocked discussions?

Continue reading...